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A lifestyle blog by Alan Pierce on The Whole 9

The Lady, Gaga

What I knew about Lady Gaga wouldn’t have filled a thimble: she came to some awards ceremony in an egg, Pokerface, and crazy costumes. But when my tart Brooke K. offered me a chance to go to her concert, of course I was in. VIP tickets meant hopefully I wouldn’t be standing amongst the masses. And it would give me a chance to get out of the house so Fever Jones could have a little downtime – remember, since my unfortunate unemployment it’s been all Alan, all the time at home. The poor thing needs a break.

I had never been to a show at Staples, but I knew to take the train, and when we arrived the area didn’t look TOO crazy – A loud outfit here, something a bit out of place there. Hair wrapped around a soda can…things like that. And then we got to “Will Call” and the line into the center. It was a total freak show…and not just kids. I saw 70 year old women dressed up in crazy outfits and garish makeup. I couldn’t stop looking. And inside was even more condense crazy. I was truly in heaven.

We got inside and bought a drink (basically they painted a layer of vodka on the bottom of a cup and added soda to the top – NEVER buy booze at Staples) and sat down and watched. There were masses of people in the general admission standing-room-only area. It looked like hell in ultraviolet. It turned out that it was also Lady Gaga’s 25th birthday, so all the lights we were looking down at were LED birthday tiaras. I still kind of want one.

The opening act was the Scissor Sisters. A dear friend, Flower, introduced me to them several years ago and oh-sweet-jesus that Jake Shears gets NOTHING but hotter. They’re an excellent, high-energy opener for a show like Lady Gaga, and by the end of their performance he has stripped down to a thong and has sweat running down every taut musc…um, I digress. I love Ana Matronic, she’s got a great voice and a definite style. “’Spawned by the scuzzy, gay nightlife scene of New York’ they took their name from a sexual position between two women also known as tribadism”. That makes me giggle.

Lady Gaga was late to the party. About 30 minutes, I think (Though saying that out loud makes me think of that horrid Kim Zlociak and her ricockulous song “Tardy to the Party” and I’m oh SO glad I never have to hear THAT again). Again, however, the people-watching was TOTALLY worth the wait. EVERY age group was represented at this concert. I saw 10 year olds and 80 year olds and they were ALL delighted to be there. There were zombies, people in “caution” tape, men and women in various shades of drag – my people were everywhere and I thought, “of course, every gay loves a fad”. But then the concert began and I understood.

Lady Gaga is a show woman, and a fantastic time. She’s a good girl, with a lovely message. She’s doing remarkable thing like coupling with Virgin Mobile and raising money and volunteers for homeless youth. She’s advocating for full equality for gays and lesbians, she’s teaching people that THEY are worthwhile, regardless of their insecurities. And I love that she admits to bad days: “When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl,” she says. “Then I say, ‘Bitch, you’re Lady Gaga, you get up and walk the walk today.’” This show has a good rhythm, a story, a message, a progression and the entire trip is her amazing voice, dancing, lights, and musicians. And she makes sure that you know, she has never lip-synched; not at the concert, not on tv…and that she knows people pay too much money to receive that kind of treatment.

The show was better than Madonna. Though it has made me need to go back to listen to the Madonna on my iPod.

While I’ve been sitting here writing this article, several news stories have crossed my screen. Such as the assbags in the Indiana Senate voting one step closer to banning gay marriage and civil unions. BTW – Equality for gays is going to happen. We ARE going to get married. Right now, the only question is, will it be your children or your grandchildren who look at you in horror when they hear of the discrimination that happened on your watch.

  1. Brilliant as always, Alan. Is the “We ARE going to get married” an announcement? Oh, I hope so as I do love me some Fever Jones. xoxo

  2. Were you the one with the huge antlers and string of blue lights hanging off them? If I had known you were there I would have shouted out to you. Absolutely, everything you said is true, but it was past my bedtime when she finally started at 1000 PM, but worth it.

  3. Awesome as always….

    You da man Alan! lol

  4. Ugh, after reading her interview in Vogue I dislike her more. I’m not against her wacky public persona, but she needs to stop being so overexposed.

  5. I love this post! The pictures are insane. Butt-less chaps and a fierce mohawk. Of course!

    Your last paragraph gave me chills. So true. It WILL happen.

  6. I like Alejandro. I just really listened to it last night. These Days, because we don’t listen to music on the radio, you don’t really hear songs until you stumble upon them, or the Pandora algorithm selects it for you.

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