The two opponents enter the ring. Each is hopping in anticipation—left, right, left, right—toweling off the beads of anxious sweat that have formed on their foreheads before the match has even begun. Huddled in their respective corners, the mood is tense, the room dark. The ties on their gloves are given one last pull, their backs given one last smack of encouragement from a coach. They turn and step into the light in the middle of the ring. The crowd goes wild.
Ladies and Gentlemen, now introducing to you, your contesters for the evening, two wines who know what it means to box, the Wine Cube 2008 Cabernet/Shiraz from California, and the Aresti 2008 Cabernet/Carménère from Central Valley, Chile! Let’s get ready to rumble!
Immediately, the Aresti takes the first punch. He is taller than his opponent, and darker, loose locks of sable hair falling over his forehead. His sinister dark eyes flare as the Cube ducks his swing and connects a solid jab to his left ribcage. One shake of the head and the Aresti goes in again, lower this time, and his left uppercut makes the Cube’s head spin. The Cube takes one step back and, once steadied, looks up at the Aresti and smiles, sweat dripping in his eyes. He may be short, but his round, stout frame lends him a fluidity that the Aresti’s rigid structure cannot compete with. He quickly ducks another swing to the head and lands a series of small, powerful jabs to the Aresti’s torso. The Aresti grunts, a sour sound like a wounded bear, and manages to throw the Cube off him. The Cube does a little dance around him, and with one last right hook, he takes the Aresti down.
And the winner is: the Wine Cube 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon/Shiraz, CA!
In all seriousness, there is a boxed wine revolution going on right now, and I strongly encourage you to abandon your dress shoes, your concern with appearances, and your awkward 3 Liter bottles of mediocre wine, and put some flowers in your hair, my friends, and liberate yourself (and your wallet) with one of the many top-quality boxed wines currently available on the market. The Wine Cube (bottled in St. Helena, Napa Valley, by Trinchero Family Estates and available exclusively at Target) and the Chilean Aresti are just two examples of producers who have decided to throw the status quo to the wind and package good juice in an extremely cost-effective manner. Plastic is much more inexpensive than glass, and the air-tight design lets you fill your glass from the box for a few weeks, removing the constant threat of oxidation and the fear of having to pour an unfinished bottle down the drain.
The Wine Cube is the ultimate easy-drinker. A soft magenta, the wine smells like cherry cola, cooked raspberries, and sweet barbeque smoke. It is not particularly complex, but it has a dried fruit and vanilla sweetness that makes it flexible and savory. The dark brick-red Aresti was a new exploration: Tom went to BevMo to buy Black Box—another boxed wine that was Spectator’s top pick in a review of boxed wines last fall—and the sales dude talked him into buying the Aresti instead (it was on sale). Although I have yet to try Black Box, I’m going to go ahead and say that this last minute switch was probably a mistake. Although the Aresti is totally drinkable with food, on its own it has a weird sour funk to it like old black olives that I am not crazy about. While innocuous, it is simply not exciting. Since we have 2 boxes of the stuff—the equivalent of 8 bottles—Tom and I are thinking that we will use this wine to make Calimocho (the Spanish cocktail of red wine and cola) once the weather warms up. I have a soft spot for this drink from my travels in Spain but at home I’ve never quite had the heart to mix my wine with cola. Now, at this price, I don’t even feel bad.
So, go, my friends, and enter the ring. For wine lovers, a boxing match has never been more exciting.
Cheers.
