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A creative blog by Jim Kalin on The Whole 9

Novelist Jim Kalin lives in Los Angeles, writes a monthly column for Amateur Wrestling News, and has traded in his speargun for a banjo. His wife and son sing harmony.


I would not be just a nuffin’

My head all full of stuffin’

If I only had a brain

the scarecrow

I sometimes wonder where certain people leave their brains, and this was most apparent a month ago when I saw a television news conference with Steve Williams. Williams is from New Zealand, but his fame comes from being Tiger Woods’ caddy.

When Williams went public, it was to criticize Woods for his recent marital strife. Presently, it’s a rough economy, and I’m sure Tiger’s absence from the PGA has hurt Williams financially. The caddy most likely gets paid only when Tiger swings the clubs. Woods will lose about half his fortune to his wife as they recede into divorce, but it still leaves him with plenty. But when I heard Williams speak out against his boss, I cringed. I figured Steve would be looking for new employment, and he wouldn’t be listing Tiger as a reference.

How wrong I was.

Tiger’s comeback began April 8th in Augusta, Georgia at The Masters. And trudging just behind him was Williams, dressed in a slightly oversized white jumpsuit and stooped from the heavy bag and golf clubs. He reminded me of Bill Murray’s character Carl in Caddyshack when the imbecile groundskeeper had to scrub and disinfect the country club swimming pool because a stray Baby Ruth candy bar was mistaken for doodoo.

I hadn’t thought too much about Tiger or Steve until I saw the first round of golf Thursday. I honestly don’t believe the public knows the entire story concerning Tiger’s marital problems, and we aren’t entitled to one. I personally don’t buy the ‘sex addict’ excuse, because that’s all it is. I think ‘sex addict’ is a bunch of baloney 99% of the time. If a man was truly a sex addict, his wife would never be allowed to leave their bedroom, and I guarantee that most who use that as an excuse for adultery rarely touch their spouses.

But I was struck hard by something else today.

Every time Tiger approached a green to putt, the surrounding crowd stood and cheered him. Some of the golfers in other groups had to hold up play until the applause and noise stopped. Like Michael Jordan, Woods is one of those rare winners who everybody loves. Golf fans want to see him compete, and they don’t mind if he wins. It’s not the same for Kobe and the Lakers, or Alex Rodriguez and the Yankees. Fans outside LA and NY love rooting against those players and their teams. People love winners, but not if they keep winning.

Such is not the case with Tiger.

I think Woods has something special. Maybe it’s Teflon. Or maybe he’s really a nice guy, a kid still, and the fact that he continued to employ Williams, even after the caddy panicked and made some crappy remarks about him publicly, says a ton.

I’ll be rooting for Tiger this weekend.

  1. I’d love to hear specifics of those comments that Steve Williams made, because the ones that I read seem pretty circumspect to me. I’d also love to know what you base your opinion and comments of sex addiction on because respectfully, if you had taken the time to do any research I guarantee you would be speaking an entirely different tune.

  2. the american psychiatric association does not recognize sex addiction as a diagnosis.

  3. What’s your point?

  4. what’s your point?

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